The Death-Spiral of Ultimate Meaninglessness

I really, really want this to stop.
You know what I like? I like being happy, and investing in the growthful things that everybody needs at this important time in our lives. I want us all -as a community- to find healthy and healing lifestyles where we respect each other no matter what!

And I wish I had some things to write about that are just the fun stuff I like to do: leaf-peeping, cup-caking, just snuzzling up with my Blanket Robe (tm) and "chatting online".
But no: here I am writing about my girlfriend's abduction again. At least I think it's an abduction: she's kooky, and maybe will just walk back in here one of these days, and I'll cry and hug her. Then she'll push me down and call me a fat crybaby again. I love her so much.

But we're back to where we were last time, I realized when I found Anna's Dieting Blog. Look at this!
I think it's Stacy again, and I think they pumped the fat back into her!
But it's even worse than that: what the fuck are those disembodied pants doing there?
There is a mostly headless half-woman there doing something with (or to!) those pants! She isn't Stacy, I know that, because Stacy is one quarter Native American!

It's important to me to maintain love relationships with people of other ethnicities: they need reassurance and understanding/acceptance. And besides: their skin is so soft!
But the Pants Vixen up there looks like she's three-quarters typing paper or something! She's so white, she reminds me of The Void.

Oh. Maybe that's how they're gonna get me: they'll send me to the Realm of Pure Nothingness. And it's represented here by this weird, annoying spiral of non-information that they keep pumping into The Internet just so I'll see it!
For instance, in the comments of this "blog", one of the commenters says,

"OMG, mandy, I love your blog! I have to try that stuff! I don’t think I would have bought it except that I got real-life testimony from a real person like you. I hate infomercials and stupid advertising copy that just sounds so fake. Your story just comes from the heart - so thanks, babe! Keep up all the good work.

Cindi "

Now, who is Mandy? Or is that one of those things you say on the Internet to mean something else, like ROFLMAO? Like, 'mandy' means my ass nearly died, yours? Or maybe it's just hacker-talk for 'wow' or something.
And why does Cindi feel so strong a need to go on and on about how real Anna is? Isn't that clear? She wrote a blog, didn't she?

But then it says, "comments closed due to spam". I dunno, but didn't the last ransom-note-blog ('cuz that's what I'm calling these!) have no real place to comment, and some open confusion about who the Blog Artist actually was?

And wait a minute: they both watched the Dr. Oz interview on Oprah, and they both found out about the miracle Acai berry, and they both started blogs about it? There is no way this could have happened on its own: someone is fucking with me. And they're doing it by either making no sense at all or trying to bore me to death!

Because look! They left too much of a trail! If you go to Annas Diet Blog, which is just like the other one but with an 'ing', you see that whoever this is couldn't even get the same pictures of the same lady!

But- oh mandy! You can still comment at this Anna's place! This is great!

You can tell that the other people who comment there are real, too, because they say things like "Rock On!" and "Hey mom, so glad you finally got this page up! Glad I could help. Your story should inspire people. So proud of you. Love you and see you soon!"
That kind of made me misty-eyed, the one from her daughter Kelly. It's also really obvious that these are real people -not actors- because they misspell things. A lot!

Like:
"yes i love this method i weighed 275 and now im 110. i feel freat and my boyfriend cant keep his hands off of me. Thanks alot."

and:
"JUst odered me a sample!"

and the kinda sad "I can’t do anything to intense."

No, no. None of us can.
Intense has always been really nice to me, and despite what he may or may not have done, I have no ill feelings toward him. But that's getting off track.

I am going to email Anna right now. I don't know what I'm going to say, but I know that it has a huge possibility of being exactly what I need in my life!

I'm cautious; I've been burned too many times before. But I don't think this is about Stacy anymore, and I don't think it necessarily needs to be about God's hateful plans for me. It might just be about growing a newer and fuller life for one's own self in this day and age: something we can all get behind!
Besides, Stacy's right: I am fat. Cup-cakers, you know what I'm talking about!